'Dressing' for a date - a cautionary tale

It was a pretty laid back build up to my invite, to what was to be a one-on-one evening with my kind platonic friend Bob* who I’d recently become attracted to. We spoke regularly, catching up on life/work and the universe. One evening he said after hearing my latest life event “You always have fun – let’s do something fun one night this week?” I said yes and he said he would think of something for us to do. (Note: the word Us)

From the tone of the build-up I thought, “Is he organising a date?” These days you never know! We were friends, so I decided to take it as such (even though he warmed my belly).

So…what to wear? I have a variety of what I call ‘Friday dresses’ versatile outfits with more juooosh than an every day work number but nothing over-the-top. I made a conscious decision (premonition) NOT to ‘dress’ for a date, as one: It’s not my style, two: wanted to look good for my own self-esteem, as well as wear something he’d appreciate and three: to me it smacks of desperation. So my cleavage busting Isabel de Cat dress was out and my Manoush 60’s above the knee smock dress was in. No believe me - it’s a fab dress.

Friday came; I left work and went straight home. Didn’t really feel like going out as that morning became my time of the month. So, if plans changed I was home already and could just chill. I’d just gotten out of the shower when he called to tell me it had been a full-on week and he hadn’t had time to sort anything out, so would I like to join him and his friend John* (Okkkk?) at their private members club blah blah. I accepted and said I’d be there in an hour…Ladies, I took my sweet time getting ready seeing as he already had company. Can I get an Amen?! And I thought of my good girlfriend Tanya* who I’d blown out that same night, was slightly peeved as if I’d known she could’ve come with.

When I got there, I sat in between them as nervous as hell. I felt like I was on live tv! After a glass of sauvignon I relaxed somewhat into the evening. My ‘friend’ Bob* I observed, had made zero effort in his dress. That disappointed me. As my usual crowd of friends– male or female, when we meet up tend to make some form of effort. The evening continued with us chatting and drinking away. At some point John*, left the club as he had to be up early in the morning - so he said.

Bob* and I carried on, the conversation just flowed. His phone had been ringing a few times during the evening. This time when it rang he answered and began directing someone up to the floor where we were. Seconds later Pebble* appeared (when I relayed this story to one of my girlfriends she said I quote “..Anyway, how can you take someone called "Pebble*" seriously, it's not even a real name!) I digress; When she saw me the look on her face is one I will never forget! I also thought “Oh no he didn’t!” Turns out this pretty young lady (I give credit where it’s due) was I quote “this girl I’ve been seeing.” What? Urh?

The level of uncomfortableness rose to an unbearable high. Staccato conversation ensued, at points I zoned out. Not long after Pebble* arrived she went for a cigarette break outside – a long one, which I assumed included a call to a girlfriend to try to get to grips with the situation. That was my cue to take myself and my ‘Friday dress’ the hell up out of there – Can I get an Amen?! I called Addison Lee. I could be in Timbuktu and they’d come to my rescue – they came in record time, God bless them. Not wanting to encroach, off home I went. Three’s a crowd and all that.

So ladies, you can imagine how mortified I would have been if I hadn’t got it a little but totally twisted that night and opted for a little black number or something similar. Well, to be honest, blatant seduction has never been my style. It was just my mind that got it wrong. Imagine if it were both that would have been just horrible!

What happened after? Whether I was misled by or I misread Bob. That night definitely gave me clarity. We are still good friends and have agreed that’s all we’ll ever be. Yes there’s an attraction, the good thing is, it’s not love…

What I do LOVE though are my ‘Friday dresses’ especially my Manoush one, it holds an ever special place in my wardrobe.


*I've so obviously changed the names. I don't know any guy called Bob in their 30s nor do I know anyone called Pebble :)